Surprisingly, one of the first questions you may hear after getting engaged is, “Are you planning to lose some weight?” The cultural pressure to fit a certain body ideal extends to weddings and beyond, and it can be incredibly damaging to those who try to live up to it. Well, let us share a secret with you: You do not need to look like anyone but yourself! Read on for a few tips on how to maintain body positivity while planning your wedding.
1. Think about what’s most important
Take a few moments and think about why you’re getting married. Is it because the love you and your partner share is important to you? Because you want to build a life together? Realizing that the reasons you’re planning a wedding have nothing to do with your weight can help to relieve some of the pressure to look a certain way on your wedding day. Your fiancé gave you an engagement ring because they love you, exactly as you are.
2. Focus on health
The most important thing about your body is that it gives you life! Your body is what allows you to dance on your wedding day, kiss your partner good night, and laugh with friends. Maybe you want to hit the gym before your wedding day, and that’s okay, too. As long as you focus on the right reasons to do so — because you want to be able to enjoy your big day with a body that loves you as much as your future spouse does.
3. Get rid of your scale
Believe it or not, the number you see on the scale is not a reflection of how good you look and feel, or how healthy you are. In fact, weighing yourself too often can cause anxiety, which you definitely don’t need in anticipation of your wedding day. If you are planning to improve your health before you tie the knot, focus on small gains instead of the number on the scale. Maybe you can lift more weight or run a little faster than the day before, or maybe your clothes are feeling more comfortable or you have more energy to spend time with your loved ones. All of these are way better markers of how your body is performing than your weight.
4. Seek the support of friends and family
There’s a reason we call our friends and family our “support system.” If you’re feeling the extra pressure of slimming down before your wedding, share some of those feelings with your favorite people. The ones you love can help you maintain perspective on the important things, offer words of encouragement and support, or just be there to listen to you vent.
5. Avoid toxic people
Societal pressure is the biggest reason why brides feel hounded to lose weight before their weddings. While it’s impossible to completely avoid, surrounding yourself only with positive influences can do a lot to improve your mental state. If someone you’re hanging out with makes you feel bad about yourself, you don’t need to be around them! Avoid anyone who makes you feel like the amazing person you are isn’t enough.
6. Prioritize fun and stress relief
Between the pressures to lose weight and the stress of planning a wedding, this is most likely going to be an overwhelming time. Make sure to prioritize anxiety-relieving activities, like cuddling with your pets, enjoying a spa day, meditating, and indulging in some of your favorite meals. Little things that bring a smile to your face can help take the edge off of this emotionally draining time.
7. Start journaling
Sometimes, just writing something down can make it a lot easier to deal with. Journaling your thoughts and feelings as you’re approaching your wedding day can help to get some of your negative emotions out, as well as give you the perspective of someone who’s not living inside your head 24/7. You can even download writing prompts to help you get started!
8. Confidently wear whatever you like
If there’s one thing we’re sure of, it’s that you’re going to look absolutely beautiful on your wedding day. Whether you’ve been dreaming of a tulle-filled ball gown or a sleek satin dress, choose something that makes you feel like the gorgeous bride you are for your wedding day. It can also help to write down your favorite features about yourself, and play these up on your wedding day. If you love your long legs, maybe go for a cocktail dress. If you’re crazy about your baby blues, highlight your eyes with dark lashes to feel extra glamorous on your big day.
9. Speak to a therapist
If talking to your friends and family just doesn’t seem to be enough, confiding in a therapist can often help get rid of some of those pre-wedding blues. You’ll have a totally non-judgmental, impartial space to let out whatever anxieties you have around wedding planning and body image before you marry your sweetheart.