Maybe you’re not ready to get married — but you definitely are ready to shack up with your sweetheart. Moving in together sounds amazing, in theory. After all, who wouldn’t want to share a living space with the person they love? No more traveling to see each other, sleeping alone, or thinking about how much you miss them when they’re not around. Plus, splitting rent or a mortgage is much more financially beneficial than paying the entire thing yourself.
But before you actually move, there are a few questions worth thinking about.
1. Why do we want to move in together?
The first (and, arguably, most important) question you should ask yourselves is: Why are we doing this? No, seriously. It may seem obvious, but there are a million reasons why you’d want to share a home with your partner…and not all of them might be worth making the decision for. Is it primarily financially motivated? Do you hate having to travel back and forth? Can’t stand to spend another minute living without them? Whatever your reasons are, make sure you’re both on the same page before jumping into a lease together.
2. How will you divide expenses?
Talking about money can be awkward, but it’s necessary if you want to avoid some potentially huge arguments in the future. Once you’re cohabitating, do you continue to keep separate bank accounts and pay from each, or do you open up a shared one you pay your living expenses from? How do you divide up rent, groceries, utilities, and other shared expenses? It’s worth writing down how you plan to work out finances once you move in together, so that you both have a record of how you’ve agreed to contribute to the household.
3. What happens if we break up?
Another not-so-fun but vital question to ponder before moving in together is what happens if things end. Is all your furniture considered shared? Does one person get to stay in the home while the other leaves? If you own the property together, do you sell it and divide the cost? These questions can be uncomfortable, so set aside some time together as a couple. You can even pair it with something fun, like a Friday night cocktail or your favorite takeout meal, and take your time figuring out where you stand beforehand.
4. What does the future hold for us?
There’s no doubt about it — moving in together is a big deal, which is why it’s also a good time to discuss how you see the relationship growing in the future. Are you both looking forward to marriage or are you happy with the way things are? Does one of you want kids while the other doesn’t? These are all good questions to ask yourselves as you move on to the next big step in your relationship.
5. How much personal space do you need?
Are you okay with spending all your time together in a studio apartment, or do you want to make sure you have a room of your own where you can escape from each other a little bit? If one of you tends to need a lot of time alone while the other prefers to spend most of your time together, that’s probably something you should discuss before moving in. That way, at least you know that if one of you is getting a little cranky, it may be time to spend some time apart. You can also designate certain areas or come up with “signals” to give each other so that you know when it’s time for some privacy.
6. How do you navigate chores/cleaning?
Is one of you a clean freak while the other couldn’t care less? Besides discussing what your personal cleaning and hygiene patterns are, this is also a good time to figure out how you would like to divide up chores once you’re living together. Trust us — you’ll avoid a lot of arguments by deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes or take the trash out beforehand.
Can you think of any other questions to ask before moving in together? Ready to take the plunge? Let us know what you think by following us on social media @shanecompany or leaving a comment on the blog. You can also start exploring housewarming gifts for your honey, promise rings, engagement rings, and more on ShaneCo.com.
what if you don´t want to pay rent sometime