Survey: Is Box Theory Real on First Dates?

title graphic for a survey asking respondents about Box Theory on first dates
title graphic for a survey asking respondents about Box Theory on first dates

We’ve all been there — it’s just moments into a first date with a potential partner, and our minds are already racing to decide if this person is worth a second outing or simply deserves a polite “Thank you, next.”

Tinx’s Box Theory posits that within mere minutes of meeting your date, you categorize them into one of three inescapable boxes:

Box 1: You want to date them
Box 2: You just want a physical relationship with them
Box 3: You never want to see them again

In this study, Shane Co. wanted to uncover how Americans feel about this phenomenon, so we conducted a state-by-state survey, asking Americans about their first-date experiences. Is Box Theory real? How quickly do they put a first date in a box? Have they had any box-related mix-ups along the road to true love? We’ve broken down the insights we gathered by gender, age, and dating app usage below. The results are eye-opening (to say the least). Read on to see how your experience stacks up!

Key Takeaways

  • The vast majority of American daters (83%) say Box Theory is a real phenomenon and admit to putting people into one of the three boxes on a first date.
  • The average American puts their first date into a box within 37 minutes and 14 seconds.
  • Residents in AZ, CO, OH, & TN say they typically put their first dates into a box in less than 20 minutes.
  • Dating app users are 10% more likely to put their first date into a box than non-users. On average, dating app users put their first date into a box within 27 minutes and 49 seconds.
  • 60% of women have misconstrued which box they were in (i.e., they thought they were in the relationship box when, in actuality, they were in the physical box).
  • Almost half of Gen Zers (49%) have put someone into a box solely based on their dating app profile.

Unpacking the Box Theory Phenomenon

an infographic displaying perceptions around Tinx’s Box Theory

First things first, Box Theory is definitely a thing. The vast majority of American daters (83%) say Box Theory is a real phenomenon and admit to putting people into one of the three infamous boxes on a first date. The average American puts their first date into a box within 37 minutes and 14 seconds, while residents in Arizona, Colorado, Ohio, and Tennessee do so even faster (less than 20 minutes!).

Dating app users are 10% more likely to put their first date into a box than non-users. On average, they put potential partners into a box within 27 minutes and 49 seconds. Always on the cutting edge, Gen Zers take the art of boxing into the digital realm (cyber-boxing?). Almost half (49%) admit they’ve put someone into a box based solely on their dating app profile.

Meanwhile, a full 60% of women have found themselves in a box mix-up, believing they were in the relationship box when, in reality, they were in the physical box. This suggests that communication and clarity around intentions to ensure both parties are on the same page is something daters need to keep front and center.

How Quickly Do We Put Our First Dates Into a Box?

a pie chart illustrating how quickly people put others in a box

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the 32% of American dating ninjas who say they can size up a first date and determine if they’re a “soulmate” or a “let’s-never-speak-of-this-again” kind of date in just 15 minutes or less!

Meanwhile, 31% of Americans take a more leisurely approach, likely preferring drinks or an appetizer before categorizing their date. And the thoughtful 20% who take an hour to put their date into a box prefer to get through the main course before deciding their destiny with this date.

The remaining 5% and 3% are sipping coffee and eating tiramisu before putting their dates into a box. These folks are either the zen masters of box theory or just excellent procrastinators.

Finally, we salute the nearly 9% of Americans who insist on living in a world where boxes simply don’t exist. Are they telling the truth? The world may never know, but we love where their heads (and hearts) are at.

Which States’ Residents Put Their First Date Into a Box the Fastest?

graphic illustrating how U.S. states use the box theory

As we mentioned earlier, Arizona, Colorado, Ohio, and Tennessee residents lead the nation with the lightning speed with which they put a first date into a box (less than 20 minutes). Meaning that around the time it takes to put on a fresh face for a new date, they’ve already decided their future!

In contrast, Massachusetts residents prefer to take their box-theorizing slowly and savor the experience for a full 62 minutes and 4 seconds! Are they contemplating the meaning of love? Debating the merits of a soulmate vs. a fling? Or just getting lost in their date’s eyes?

Closing Thoughts

Our study makes it clear that Box Theory is alive and thriving in the American dating landscape and that most people embrace this quirky, all-too-human aspect of finding love. With the majority of daters admitting to categorizing their first dates according to Tinx’s Box Theory within minutes, it’s clear this phenomenon is outside of most daters’ control.

But while we may be quick to size up potential partners, love can still surprise us when we least expect it. So if you and your date find yourselves in each other’s box 1, we have the perfect engagement ring to make it official. Shop Shane Co.’s unique engagement rings and you’re sure to find one that speaks to your love story.

Methodology

To determine how Americans approach Box Theory, we surveyed 2,180 U.S. respondents across 44 states from March 12 to March 28, 2023. We surveyed a representative sample across age range, gender, and dating app usage to ensure our samples represented the general population. We asked respondents who weren’t currently dating about their actions on first dates when they were actively dating. Due to a low pool of respondents, Alaska, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming were excluded from our study.

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