So, you’ve made the big decision: You’re going to propose to your partner. Congratulations! While this is an exciting time for you (and for your partner), planning a proposal is a lot of pressure. What’s more, if you’re making it a surprise there is an extra layer of stress that comes with the proposal planning process. To help you keep the special moment a secret, we’ve put together the ultimate checklist for planning a surprise proposal.
Finding the Right Ring
While some people discuss ring preferences with their partners, having that conversation may blow your cover for a surprise marriage proposal. To pick out the right ring without cluing your partner in, it’s crucial that you are strategic and discreet. Using incognito mode on your internet browser to search for rings, going to stores in person, and knowing their ring size will help you be prepared. If you need help, reach out to your partner’s best friend or a close family member who knows their style preferences and ring size.
Once you have the ring, make sure you keep it in a safe, hidden place. If you can, try to have a trusted friend or family member hold onto it for you. Don’t make the mistake of leaving the ring box out or in a typical hiding place (sock drawers, we’re looking at you). This way, there’s no chance that your partner will stumble across the ring and ruin the surprise for themselves.
Big purchase pro tip: Engagement rings are expensive. In fact, your partner’s engagement ring, the actual wedding, and your future home (if you don’t already own one) are some of the biggest purchases you will make in your life. If you aren’t paying out of pocket, be aware that you may need a certain credit score to finance these purchases, so make sure to budget your money wisely so you can achieve all of your financial goals together.
Still need help? Check out our Engagement Ring Buying Guide.
Set the Perfect Surprise Proposal Scene
The best surprise proposals are very well thought out. When it comes to the big day, you don’t want to pick a random restaurant and hope for the best. Setting the scene for a romantic proposal while keeping it a surprise is part of what will help you pull off the big moment. Here are things to keep in mind:
- Pick the perfect date. Although it’s a sweet gesture to propose on the day you met your partner, it’s a little predictable. Avoid proposing to your partner on their birthday, your anniversary, or their other favorite holidays. Remember to pick a date when your partner will be free, too. Don’t pick a Saturday afternoon if you know your partner always works weekends or might be on call during that time.
- Make reservations. If you are going to propose in a public setting, like your partner’s favorite restaurant, be sure to make reservations. This will guarantee you a table with little wait time. Additionally, some restaurants offer glasses of champagne or a free dessert if you let them know of your plan ahead of time.
- Choose somewhere believable. Try to avoid places with an obvious tie to your relationship if you don’t regularly visit them. Aim for somewhere that will not raise suspicion. For example, if you met your partner at a very expensive restaurant when you were in college, and you have only been back once or twice, nix the location. Going there may set off red flags in your partner’s head. Instead, if you have a restaurant that you frequent as a couple, or if you have a favorite hiking spot, consider those places.
Plan Your Guest List
Whether you want to privately propose to your partner or want your wedding proposal to be surrounded by loved ones, you need to be selective about who you invite. While your friends and family have good intentions, not everyone is good at keeping secrets. Being selective about who you invite will let you control who is clued in on the secret and expect an explanation if your partner starts to ask questions. To avoid suspicion, don’t invite people you wouldn’t normally spend time with. Here are some people to consider inviting (or not):
- Your partner’s parents
- Your partner’s best friend
- Your partner’s siblings
- A professional photographer to snap engagement photos
Remember: If your partner values their parents’ approval, make sure you talk to them about the proposal before you pop the question.
Come Up with a Cover Story
If your partner starts to get it in their head that you are going to propose, having a cover story may save the moment. When you’re coming up with the story, be realistic. You don’t want a backstory that includes family members you don’t usually talk to or friends of yours that your partner isn’t a big fan of. Having the wrong backup story may make them more suspicious or could ruin the moment. Keeping your story believable will set the stage for you to play it cool.
Once you have a backstory nailed down, make sure the people you invite are on the same page as you. Having inconsistent stories will raise red flags.
Pro tip: As a part of the backstory, make sure to include a reason your partner should wear attire appropriate for the setting. This will let them look their best without wondering why they need to get dressed up.
Plan Your Proposal Speech
Let’s be honest: Proposing to someone is nerve-wracking. You may feel confident now, but getting down on one knee may spark your partner to have emotions that will make you cry. Knowing exactly what you want to say to your partner (beyond “Will you marry me?”) will make the moment personalized and special and make them feel loved. The best proposal speeches call back on why you love your partner, mention successes you’ve had as a couple, and share reasons you are lucky and excited to spend your life with them. Remember: This is a surprise, so if you nail your speech, your partner’s reaction will be even more priceless than if they saw it coming.
Pop the Question and Party!
After you pull off your surprise wedding proposal, it’s time to celebrate and relax. Your partner will want to show off their ring, share those proposal photos on social media, and raise a glass to your exciting future as a couple.
Ready to start planning your surprise proposal? We’re here to help you every step of the way. Visit a store near you, book an appointment online, or begin your engagement ring search at ShaneCo.com today.
