{"id":4433,"date":"2019-11-01T12:59:37","date_gmt":"2019-11-01T18:59:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shaneco.com\/theloupe\/?p=4433"},"modified":"2019-11-13T14:56:42","modified_gmt":"2019-11-13T21:56:42","slug":"engagement-proposal-traditions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shaneco.com\/theloupe\/jewelry-education\/engagement-proposal-traditions\/","title":{"rendered":"Engagement and Proposal Traditions in the United States"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"The<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

At Shane Co., we feel honored to be a part of so many engagements each year. Getting engaged is a huge milestone, and with so many components and decisions leading up to<\/a> getting engaged, it\u2019s no wonder there are so many traditions surrounding it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tradition helps us determine how to act in situations we might not know how to navigate otherwise. They are not set in stone<\/a> (forgive the pun), however, and often have interesting, meandering histories. Did you know that men kneeling to propose might have originated in the Medieval era <\/a>with men devoting themselves to their Earthly ideal, often a noblewoman? That\u2019s why it\u2019s so appealing for us to find out what proposals look like today. How many of these traditions have lasted and how many have changed with the times?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We decided to conduct a survey to determine what proposals and\nengagements look like today in the United States. We surveyed 1,376 married or\nengaged U.S. adults about what their proposals, from the relationship\nbeforehand to the photos taken after looked like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read on to discover our findings! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Average Relationship Timelines<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

First, we decided to dive into what relationships, from the first\ndate to the wedding day, look like on a timeline. We asked our participants how\nlong they dated their partner before they got engaged, how long they lived\ntogether before their engagement (if they did), and how long their engagement\nlasted. We then broke down each segment into averages by generation and by\nsexual orientation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Bar<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So what does the average relationship timeline look like by generation? According to our findings, Gen Xers had the longest relationships before getting engaged, with an average of 25 months or just over 2 years. Couples of the \u201clatchkey generation<\/a>,\u201d which is noted for its emphasis on independence and individualism, lived together the longest before getting engaged, with an average of 14 months.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We also found it remarkable how engagement lengths have varied greatly over the generations. Baby Boomers were engaged for less than a year on average, while Gen Xers were engaged for 18 months. Millennials had engagement periods of around 16 months, which is the average overall. We suppose Gen Z will determine whether the average engagement period increases or decreases over time! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"bar<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, we observed differences between the relationship\ntimelines of opposite-sex and same-sex couples. Same-sex couples dated for much\nlonger before getting engaged, an average of 29 months, which, of course, must\nbe considered in the light of marriage\nequality<\/a> in the United States. Same-sex couples also had longer engagement\nperiods and lived together longer than opposite-sex couples.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, there are many other reasons engagements and\nrelationships prior to marriage might look different among various couples. We\nalso asked questions about our respondents\u2019 lives when they got engaged; what\nstage of life were they in when they became affianced? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life Around Engagement<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Graphics<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As engagements and proposals have changed, so have the lives of\nthose getting engaged. More often than ever, couples may own a home together or\nhave children together before they get engaged. After all, there isn\u2019t one\nright way to get engaged!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, traditions aside, 47.3% of couples moved in together\nbefore they get engaged. Although they tended to live together for a relatively\nshort period (46.7% lived together for a year or less before getting engaged), living\ntogether is a noteworthy precursor to getting engaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the majority of couples surveyed did not own a home together\nbefore getting engaged, our results indicated that opposite-sex couples (38.1%)\nwere more likely than same-sex couples (31.5%) to close on a house before their\nwedding day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Popping the Question<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Graphics<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Picture a proposal in your head. We\u2019d venture to bet the image\nthat comes to mind involves a man on one knee, a diamond ring, and a\nwonderfully surprised girlfriend. Of course, popping the question has a highly\ntraditional element to it. But are people today following tradition? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The median engagement age of our respondents was 26, close to the\nnational average of 28 for women and 30 for men. This stat is on trend that the\nage at first engagement has been steadily\nincreasing for decades.<\/a> In 81% of couples, the standard picture of men\ndoing the proposing remains accurate, as does the element of surprise, which is\nstill the case in 73% of engagements.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A feature of 21st-century engagements is their public setting,\nsuch as at sports games or concerts. However, the fact remains that 68% of\nengagements are private, with only 4% of engagements taking place in a highly\npublic manner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Ring<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Percentages<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s no surprise that at Shane Co., we have a huge interest in the\nring<\/em> part of engagements. Not just in the most popular stone<\/a> or setting<\/a> chosen, but the cultural norms that surround them.\nHistorically, it was expected for a male fianc\u00e9 to purchase a ring, which he\ngifted to his betrothed for her to wear throughout the engagement period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naturally, things have changed over time. 85% of proposals still\ninvolve a ring, with 13% of couples splitting the cost of that ring. When you\nbreak it down by sexual orientation, 24.8% of same-sex couples and 11.5% of\nopposite-sex couples split the cost of the ring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shopping for engagement rings has changed too. 60% of opposite-sex\ncouples and 70% of same-sex couples pick the ring out together, instead of one\npartner choosing for the other. When it comes to getting engaged, however, 53%\nsay the ring doesn\u2019t matter at all, while 6% of people would turn down the\nproposal if they didn\u2019t like the ring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, we decided to take a look at how deeply some popular\nengagement trends of recent decades have influenced proposals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Engagements and Culture<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"The<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Popping the question is a huge moment. It can be the culmination\nof months of planning and years of being together. There\u2019s also plenty to\nconsider when it comes to culture and trends: will you ask your partners\u2019\nparents\u2019 permission? Will you have a photographer present? Will it be exactly\nhow you and how you envision your partner always wanted?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Interestingly, though only 4% of engagements are fully public, 56%\nof people reported that they would prefer a public proposal. Even still, only\n19% of engagements have a photographer present to capture the moment, although\nhaving engagement photos taken after the fact have become increasingly popular\nwith each generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still erring on the side of traditional, 52% of people ask for parents\u2019 permission before proposing. Unfortunately, 22% of respondents stated their proposal was not exactly what they wanted. Luckily that means more than three-quarters of people DO have the engagement of their dreams. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What About You?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on our survey results, as well as hear\nabout your own experiences with proposals and engagement norms. What did your\nengagement look like? Did you follow tradition or do something completely your\nown? Did you have an awesome photoshoot, or are those memories simply left in\nyour head? We welcome your comments and pictures via email (social@shaneco.com)\nor on social media (@shanecompany).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"At Shane Co., we feel honored to be a part of so many engagements each year. Getting engaged…\n","protected":false},"author":76,"featured_media":4508,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10104259587489742_110062855004561":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,47,46,3,51,48,53],"tags":[5084,6,3923,4436,15],"coauthors":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4433","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-art-of-engagement","8":"category-buying-a-diamond","9":"category-choosing-a-ring","10":"category-jewelry-education","11":"category-engagement-rings","12":"category-how-to-propose","13":"category-love-relationships","14":"tag-engagement-norms","15":"tag-engagement-rings","16":"tag-how-to-propose","17":"tag-love-and-relationships","18":"tag-proposal"},"yoast_head":"\nEngagement and Proposal Traditions | The Loupe | Shane Co.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Shane Co. conducted a survey to determine what proposals and engagements look like today in the United States. 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