Advice For All Grooms, Everywhere … Including Myself

By the time you read this, I will be gone.  No, no, no, not like that, but I will be married, and on my honeymoon.  I’ll be away from my desk, and my iPhone.  No more emails, no phone calls, no business.  All of these are very rare things for me.  A true vacation, just my new bride and myself.  Aside from the minor detail of running a business over the past year, I’ve also been heavily involved in planning for our wedding, and I’ve learned a lot from the process.  If I could do it all over again, the thought of which is simply exhausting on its own, I would have some advice for myself.  So, here it goes…

The first thing that comes to mind is that somehow, someway, everything will get handled…i.e. “It’ll all be OK.”  There are hundreds of books, websites, blogs, pieces of friend’s advice and plenty of other stuff out there that will give “advice” on how to prepare for a wedding.  While well intended, it can surely be overwhelming!  Anyhow, my advice is that, it will all get done!  And besides, whatever doesn’t get done, will not stop the earth from spinning on its axis.  Furthermore, no matter how much you plan, how hard you try, something will go wrong.  Half of our flower vases dropped and shattered last week when getting shipped from the vendor to the florist.  The same vases that we approved months ago.  Time to reorder?  I don’t think so.  Panic?  Why?  So back to the florist to pick another style of vase.  Not one of our guests will ever know that the vase changed from the original one we selected.  Anyhow, you get the point.

Another lesson, and an even more important one in my opinion.  It is all too easy to forget that the wedding is not about the party, the music, the flowers, the ceremony itself, or even the guests in attendance.  It is about yourself and the person whom you are choosing to spend the rest of your life with.  It is easy, and I admit I got caught up in the action dozens of times, to concern yourself with everything  “else”.  The “other”, or anything that’s not concerning the whole reason the wedding is taking place in the first place (the couple) is merely a means to an end, a way of gathering those around you to declare your lifelong intentions.  The process goes by all too quickly anyhow, and not taking the time to realize what the reasoning behind it all can really be a pity.  So, after the band stops playing, after the candles burn out, after the guests fly home, after ”normal” life resumes, be sure your memories were of a time where you were able to strengthen your relationship with each other, not over the big fight you had whether Aunt Sally should sit to the right or the left of Uncle Bill.

I think that if I would have been given the above two pieces of advice, and been astute enough to abide by them, the entire process would have been seamless.  Well not quite, but you get the idea.

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