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First Things First |
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Careful wedding planning will save you countless hours and undue expenses. It's also a great way to stay relaxed. After all, you want to enjoy one of the most exciting and memorable times of your life! And Shane Co. is delighted to help.
Instead of jumping right in, take the time to do some research. Become familiar with the whole gamut of wedding-related decisions you will need to make. Armed with good information, you can make budget-wise choices on everything from your pre-nuptial events and wedding day to your honeymoon.
Think through what you really want before making any wedding-related decisions. As public as weddings may be, they are also intensely private and personal. What's your favorite style? How can you ensure your personality is reflected? Begin by creating a blueprint in your mind of your dream wedding. You'll be better prepared to incorporate your style into the entire affair while staying within budget.
Take advantage of our tried-and-true advice and handy Checklists to save you time, energy and money. Our glossary and planning guides will also help you conquer the chaos. Instead of sweating the small stuff, you'll be free to concentrate on making your wedding truly unforgettable.
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Who Pays for What |
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Any way you look at it, a wedding is a huge expenditure. The average cost of a wedding today is $18,000 with 180 guests - or $100 per guest. However, it's possible to plan an equally impressive wedding for $30 to $60 per person - if you make budget-wise choices.
The reception is notorious for being a wedding's biggest expense. It's safe to estimate that 50 percent or more of your wedding budget will go toward the reception.
What's the best way to arrive at your budget figure? Hold a discussion with everyone expected to pay for part of the wedding festivities. Although parents of the bride have traditionally paid most of the expenses, it's not always done that way anymore.
Since first-time brides and grooms today are older on average - 24 and 26 years respectively - and more financially independent, the couple often foots the entire bill. Another trend is for a relative of the bride or groom to release an inheritance early or otherwise fund the wedding or honeymoon.
Whether you choose to follow tradition or just want to see a thorough list of expenses, here's a good tool to use:
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| Who Traditionally Pays |
Expenses |
| The bride and her family |
Wedding-related expenses
- Bride's wedding attire and trousseau
- Wedding coordinator, if applicable
- Invitations and announcements
- Ceremony site rental
- Flowers (except those purchased by the groom)
- Photography and videography
- Ceremony music
- Rental of awnings, kneeling bench, tables, chairs, etc.
- Accommodations for bridal attendants, if required
- Bridesmaids' luncheon, unless one is hosted by the bridesmaid
- Bride's gift for her groom
- Groom's wedding ring
- All other wedding expenses not paid by others
Reception-related expenses:
- All expenses, including reception site rental, wedding cake and music
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| The groom and his family |
Wedding-related expenses
- Groom's wedding attire
- Rehearsal dinner
- Boutonnieres for groom, best man, groomsmen and fathers
- Bride's bouquet, bride's going-away corsage, corsages for mothers and grandmothers
- Marriage license
- Officiant's fee
- Accommodations for groomsmen, if required
- Accommodations for groom's parents, if required
- Bachelor dinner/party, if not hosted by groomsmen
- Gifts for groomsmen and groom's junior attendants
- Groom's gift for his bride
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| Bride's attendants |
Wedding-related expenses
- Wedding attire
- Transportation to and from wedding
- Bridesmaids' luncheon, unless hosted by bride
- Gift for bride
- Wedding gift for bride and groom
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| Groomsmen |
Wedding-related expenses
- Wedding attire
- Transportation to and from wedding
- Bachelor's dinner/party, if not hosted by groom
- Decorations for couple's getaway vehicle
- Gift for groom
- Wedding gift for bride and groom
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| Parents of junior attendants |
Wedding-related expenses
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With all these costs in mind, it's easy to see how your wedding could reach or surpass (yikes!) the national average!
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Learn the Lingo
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Ready to talk the talk with wedding suppliers? Sharpen your wedding vocabulary by reviewing these common terms. Or refer to them later when an unfamiliar word crops up in conversation or in your research.
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| Ascot |
Scarf-like necktie worn with the cutaway tailcoat and looped under the chin. |
| Bakeware |
Cake pans, muffin pans, cookie sheets and other items used in the kitchen for baking. |
| Bone China |
Fine china with bone ash as an ingredient known for characteristic translucency and whiteness. Although very thin, it's strong and resistant to chipping. |
| Boutonniere |
A small flower arrangement or single flower traditionally worn by men on a suit jacket lapel. |
| Buffet |
Tables or sideboards set up with food and/or refreshments. Conducive for guests to serve themselves. |
| Calligraphy |
Fancy, decorative handwriting style. |
| Charmeuse |
Satin fabric with flexible, soft and lightweight finish. |
| Chiffon |
Lightweight, lustrous sheer and often-layered fabric. |
| Chupah |
During Jewish weddings, a couple stands underneath this canopy or arch of flowers. |
| Cookware |
Saucepans, saucepots, frying pans and other items used in the kitchen for cooking. |
| Corsage |
Traditionally this small flower arrangement is worn by a woman and pinned on her dress near her shoulder. |
| Chiffon |
Lightweight, lustrous sheer and often-layered fabric. |
| Crystal |
As the highest quality of glass you can buy, it is clear, transparent and sparkling. Containing a percentage of lead, it is softer and much more fragile than glass. It is not dishwasher safe. |
| Cuff Links |
Jewelry that fastens (links) shirt cuffs. |
| Cummerbund |
A sash worn to take the place of a vest. It is worn with pleats facing upward and over the waistband of suit trousers. |
| Cutaway |
Worn with striped trousers, this tailcoat is worn in formal daytime weddings. |
| Cutlery |
Steak knives, steak knives and other cutting instruments primarily used in the kitchen. |
| Earthenware |
Non-translucent ware made from clay and fired at lower temperatures than china. Although cheaper to produce than china, it doesn't possess the same durability. |
| Engraved Invitations |
Words are cut (engraved) into the paper on these elegant invitations, which are usually used for very formal weddings. They are the most expensive invitation type. |
| Fiancé |
Man engaged to be married. |
| Fiancée |
Woman engaged to be married. |
| Flatware |
Forks, knives, spoons and other dining and serving utensils. |
| Formal Wedding |
Characteristics of this type of ceremonious wedding include:
engraved or thermographed invitations for up to 200 guests; two to six bridesmaids and
ushers; bride attired in long gown and veil; groom and ushers in
tuxedos; reception with full meal and drinks following the ceremony. Usually
a band or DJ provides music at the reception.
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| Four-in-hand Tie |
Standard necktie worn with a regular shirt and stroller. Often worn daily by men who wear suits to work. |
| Glassware |
Everyday, casual glasses, including iced tea and juice glasses. Crystal is not included as glassware. |
| Hollowware |
Serving pieces. |
| Informal wedding |
Nonformal, casual relaxed wedding with fewer than 50 guests. Sites for informal weddings run the gamut, including city hall. A small, informal reception at a home or a restaurant may follow a simple ceremony. |
| Ironstone |
Higher quality, heavier and more durable type of earthenware. |
| Maid of Honor |
Unmarried woman who stands by the bride's side at the ceremony and signs as an official witness on the marriage certificate. The bride chooses her. |
| Matron of Honor |
Married woman who stands by the bride's side at the ceremony and signs as an official witness on the marriage certificate. The bride chooses her. |
| Monogram |
Couples may choose to have their initials, or monogram, engraved in their silver or embroidered on their linens. Monograms come in several variations. |
| Nosegay |
Round arrangement or bouquet of flowers that is usually small. |
| Officiant |
Person who performs a wedding ceremony. |
| Organza |
Chiffon-like fabric, only heavier and stiffer. |
| Porcelain |
Similar to bone china, though it does not have bone ash as an ingredient and is usually not quite as translucent. |
| Pottery |
Ware made of clay. |
| Semi-formal Wedding |
Characteristics include: printed invitations for under 100 guests; groom attired in either dark suit or tuxedo; bride attired in floor-length gown; one or two bridesmaids and ushers; reception with buffet or hors d'oeuvres following ceremony. |
| Shantung |
Usually made of silk, this fabric is known for its characteristic nubby texture. It's a bit coarse to the touch. |
| Silverplate |
Through a process called electroplating, this metal-based flatware is coated with pure silver. |
| Stainless |
Rust-resistant flatware made of an alloy steel, chromium. Unlike sterling or
silverplate flatware, this cheaper choice is dishwasher safe and does not require any special care. |
| Sterling |
Made of solid silver, it is the highest quality of flatware available. Any flatware referred to as sterling must contain at least .925 parts of pure silver. |
| Stoneware |
Made of clay and fired at very high temperatures, this ware is hard, nonporous and very durable. Since it's microwave-, oven- and dishwasher-safe and unlikely to chip easily, it's a very popular choice for everyday casual dinnerware. |
| Stroller |
Black or gray long suit jacket worn with striped trousers and popular for formal, daytime weddings. |
| Taffeta |
Stiff and heavy fabric popular for bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses. |
| Thermographed Invitations |
Although they may have a similar look and feel as engraved invitations, this alternative is significantly cheaper. A special powder is used to accomplish raised lettering. |
| Trousseau |
Bride's wardrobe and belongings; wedding gown; lingerie; accessories; honeymoon wardrobe; and new household linens. |
| Tulle |
Usually seen in the skirts of certain wedding gowns, this fabric features a net-like appearance. |
| Ultra-formal Wedding |
Characteristics of the most formal, ceremonious wedding
type include: engraved invitations for at least 200 (usually more) guests; up to 12
bridesmaids and ushers; bride attired in a gown with a long train and
long veil; men attired in suit tails (white tie for evening weddings); lavish
reception with sit-down dinner and drinks following the ceremony; live band or orchestra at the reception. |
| White Tie |
As the most formal evening attire worn by men, dress includes a tailcoat, white wing collar shirt, white vest and tie. |
| Wedding Floral Focus |
Learn the traditions and meanings of wedding flowers by visiting floral Symbolism. |
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Important Decisions
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Planning a wedding can be viewed as a series of decisions. But you don't have to make them all at once. Just take them a step at a time, as shown here. The very first step is setting your budget - because it provides a framework for other wedding-centered choices. In fact, that budget figure is one of the top seven decisions recommended for Step 1 of your wedding planning. Step 1 decisions set up a foundation for the master wedding plan, and every other decision rests on them.
With Step 1 complete, it's time to move to Step 2 decisions. These choices give style and individuality to your ceremony and reception.
Last, but not least, Step 3 decisions follow and work to make your wedding unique.
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| Step 1 Decisions |
Step 2 Decisions |
Step 3 Decisions |
- Budget
- Financial commitments (who pays for what).
- Guest list size
- Ceremony time, day and year
- Wedding officiant
- Ceremony location
- Reception site
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- Bride and groom wedding attire and accessories
- Attendants' wedding attire and accessories
- Menu and beverages
- Musicians, band and/or deejay at ceremony and/or reception
- Florist
- Photographer and/or videographer
- Printed materials, including invitations
- Assistance at wedding and before, if necessary
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- Wedding day schedule
- Ceremony readings
- Ceremony and reception music choices
- Final flower selections
- Special events-introductions, toasts, first dance, bouquet toss, etc.
- Gifts for attendants, parents
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What tasks to do when
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Now that you know how to prioritize your decision-making, what are your deadlines?
It depends on how much time until the big day, or the length of your engagement.
For step-by-step advice, see Lead Times and Checklists.
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Getting Organized
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Here's how to feel confident you're planning your wedding in the most efficient way. Use our interactive planning resource to gain planning secrets from our wedding experts.
Our Interactive Planner will help you:
- Break up large planning areas into smaller, more manageable portions.
- Set a budget and keep to it.
- Prepare a planning calendar that guides you to know which decisions need to be made when.
- Stay organized by keeping all your minute wedding details in one easily accessible spot.
- Remind you of important planning deadlines.
Using our interactive tool will shrink the paperwork you need to keep up with and file. However, buy a notebook to store important paper documents such as contracts, receipts, magazine photos and the like.
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General Advice
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Share the joy - and efforts.
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- Begin your wedding research early as soon as you pick your wedding date.
- Hire help or get a friend or family member to aid you in planning, especially on your wedding day. Prefer a professional? Then secure one early in the planning process.
- Make a list of what needs to be done. Split that list in half. You can be responsible for 50 percent of the tasks, with your intended taking charge of the rest.
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The sky's not the limit.
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- Limit your options to make wedding planning easier. Consider wedding styles you do not want. Then begin to clarify an internal image of what kind of wedding feels right - fits your personality, family expectations, lifestyle and budget.
- Choose the best you can afford - within your budget limits.
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Remember, it's your day.
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- How can you put personality into your wedding? Pick a few details and concentrate on making them unusual or memorable. Places to express your style include your vows, your gown, a special ceremony reading, an unusual wedding cake and more.
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Plan to plan.
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- Set aside time to work on details. Pick a day of the week (or days if necessary) when you can focus on wedding planning.
- If you're sharing duties with your intended, make sure you're sharing your progress with each other through consistent updates.
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Save valuable time.
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- Limit your comparison shopping.
- Be positive about your choices. There's no need to second-guess yourself! Once you have selected a site, for example, avoid considering other locations.
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Wedding day relief.
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- Do everything possible beforehand! Avoid the pressure of handling details on your wedding day.
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I purchased a necklace for our 35th anniversary. I must say that the stone is exquisite. The fire, color and clarity are outstanding.
Alex N. - Peyton, CO
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For delivery by Friday, May 9th, follow the shipping guidelines below.
